The Times & My Cousin Vinnie

There are few things I love more than a lazy Sunday.

Maybe a lazy Saturday. But that’s beside the point.

This won’t be an entirely lazy Sunday. I have loads of errands to run. My car needs gas and an oil change; I have to return a dress at Urban Outfitters; and a slew of other exciting chores like Swiffering and grocery shopping and… sigh.


Just for now, I’m enjoying the lazy part of this Sunday.

And besides the Times… and a book… the best part of a weekend morning is coffee.

And now that the weather is warming up, my weekend mornings are enhanced by a ginormous Dunkin Donuts iced coconut-flavored coffee.  It’s a jolt of tropical wakeful goodness.  Mmm.

Bowie likes to be part of the morning reading ritual too.  Albeit in an unconventional, upside down matter.  Whatever works for him.  Apparently, he is very interested in traveling to Ottowa.

The OTHER best part of a weekend morning is randomly finding something fun on T.V.  And check this out:

That’s right, people!  One of the best lawyer movies EVER… My Cousin Vinnie!

I even caught it right at the start of his two best scenes in the movie – the cross examinations of the eye witnesses to the murder.  First, there’s “grits man” who claims to have seen the Karate Kid and his buddy enter the convenience store where the victim was killed, and then heard gunshots 5 minutes later, during which time he was cooking his morning grits.

Except.  As Vinnie & his Southern jury know, grits take at least 20 minutes to cook.  Not 5.

Do the laws of phsyics cease to exist on YOUR stove? That’s a good one.  Or my favorite, at the end of his cross:  I got no more use for dis guy.

I think all trial attorneys should end cross examinations like that.  It’s so much more entertaining than Nothing further, your honor.

Especially in a red velvet suit and matching bow tie.

Then there’s this guy, (dis  guy?) who claims to have seen the suspects from his house – though he’d have to have looked through a rusty screen, a window coated in dirt, through a tree, with all of these leaves, and bushes… hmm, maybe he couldn’t see much after all.

All I have to say is, aspiring litigator or not, rent it now.  Then practice key phrases like “dese two youts.”

I’m off to Swiffer, myself.

Bowie’s going to supervise. 

Yeah, dis guy.

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